Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Financial Bullying

Last 26th of August, I posted a status on Twitter on which also updated my Facebook account automatically. It was supposed to be a simple statement but it became controversial as many reacted in several ways. Some were positive, many came in defense and I think some were hurt. I guess I haven't learned my lessons well about posting things online about my feelings, but hey, there is no law prohibiting me to do so. But, there are still some things to consider before clicking the submit button. My statement was: "My last vacation made me realize/identify those friends who really wanted to see me and those who just wanted a treat and/or pasalubong". I am blessed having so many friends but my time was limited in meeting all of them in my last vacation.

Indeed, this break from work reminded me something, which is to treasure your true friends and make an effort in seeing them no matter what. Below are my experiences which I can say an eye opener as to how to identify my level of friendship with them. You be the judge if I am being abused or its just their own way of "paglalambing" or showing me that they really miss me or I am just overreacting.
  1. A certain friend asked me to just send them foods or make a delivery in their house instead of meeting me since he/she is very tired.
  2. A certain friend asked me to meet them so that I can treat them in a lavishing dinner experience.
  3. A certain friend joked about the items that he/she already selected in a shop (it's just a joke right?)
  4. A certain friend asked me to bring a specific food item and when I arrived there and gave it, I was almost scolded since I bought a different brand/color of food that he/she wanted.
  5. A certain friend requested me to check in a 5 star hotel so that he/she can experience the infinity pool.
  6. A certain friend asked me to sponsor her/his two way ticket for a domestic flight and even opened up the topic about the cheque I received from Singapore government.
On the above situations, I wanted to give them the answers and I wanted to shout out but instead, I chose to smile and change topic (I am the best person in diverting a topic during a conversation). Below items should have been my answer:
  1. If you really want to see me, you can make an effort or ask me to visit your house to see how I am doing.
  2. I don't have a voucher for free lavishing dinner experience and the both of us have work and earnings.
  3. Hmmmm, I don't think its your birthday today and besides I am not your boyfriend/bestfriend to joke about it.
  4. Woah, I haven't heard the words "thank you" yet and now you are expressing your disappointment?
  5. Come on, didn't you even miss me? So you will be happier in infinity pool rather than spend time with your friend?
  6. Huh, you have work right? And you already aware of such thing/event so you should have saved money for it and leave alone the money I received.
Is it true that jokes are half meant? I know I shouldn't take those things seriously but it is always the scenario, if I am around the words treat or "libre ka naman dyan" surfaces. I feel so abused and if I say that it's your turn to treat then they will answer, "oh God teaches us to share our blessings so you should share yours". How about your blessings? You just want to receive and don't want to give? I think I should call it "financial bullying" since they are aware that yes, I earn more than them but it shouldn't be a reason to be abused and always ask me to share my money. Why can't they just let me volunteer to do it because everytime I treat them, its from my heart and I give my hundred percent on it. But when I just wanted to see them and talk about the memories and keep up with them, I am hoping that we should just treasure the moment and avoid the "libre" thing. Also, I have learned to be more humble and keep my feet on the ground in terms of exposing myself in financial terms. I also have debt, we all have work, we all have family to support, we are all receiving blessings. Honestly the image "galante" and "nanlilibre" is one of the many reasons why I wanted to start anew, I want to reinvent myself and constitute new identity, the one who is more humble and can have happy moments without spending too much money. Its like I am buying friendship. I am sorry for those who might be hit by this post but a good friend advised me that only those who are guilty will be offended. So its up to your emotional feelings and conscience, again, I am sorry if I hurt anyone.

I appreciate those people who give me advise on these things, those friends who make effort to be with me in the airport for a sendoff dinner and spening remaining hours with me, those friends who don't forget to say "thank you", those friends who treasure my presence, those friends who sent messages saying they will miss me, those friends who gave simple token of friendship, those friends who are more interested in your stories and the happenings in my life after long time of absence, those friends who prays for me and prays with me, those friends who lend me financial help. I know this post will result into different reactions but I chose to outburst my feelings to put a stop on this and treasure those TRUE friends that will stick with me even if I don't have any money.


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